L

Word Up!

In Frayed Connections on February 28, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Please!

 

There’s a current trend in decorating that drives me crazy. It involves ‘Word Art’. When I see these word signs, I immediately get defensive. First off, I’m not an idiot. I don’t need a sign in the kitchen that reads ‘eat’. I know why I’m here. Likewise, I don’t need a sign that reads ‘Breathe’…I’m pretty much a master now. There are picture frames that read ‘Baby’ (‘Is that what that is?) and  “Cat’ and ‘Dog’ on the food dishes, even though I don’t think pets can read.

OMG! The Wall is NAGGING me to death! 

‘Live, Laugh, Love’ sounds like a demand to me. Obviously, I’m living if I’m reading your wall, but ‘Laugh?’ You’re going to have to give me a little stand-up material, or slip on a banana while holding a bunch of plates. (And- what if I did just start laughing for no reason because your sign told me to? You’d have me committed) Telling me to ‘Love’ strikes me as the kind of thing that, had I not considered it before reading your sign, I would forever be indebted to your wall. As for ‘Be Who You Are?’ Oh my God! You mean I have a choice?

Sometimes the words and phrases get a little too bossy for me, as well. ‘Achieve!’ makes me feel like I should have brought my resume, and don’t even get me started on ‘Live Your Dreams!’ Are you kidding me? Last night I dreamed I was at the DMV with Charlie from ‘Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ and there was a pool in the middle of the floor. As fun as that sounds- I just don’t have the time and resources to make that dream come true.

Another favorite is ‘Do What You Love!’ Oh yeah? You mean painting, acting, singing, dancing-that kind of thing? The ‘Dream’ jobs? Then who is going to do all the crappy jobs? I don’t think the accountant friend in middle management (who has this sign) is exactly ‘Doing What He Loves’, but either are most people, and still they live good lives, despite what their wall art thinks.

‘Believe’ is another popular one. Believe what? That a Facebook acquaintance I haven’t spoken to since 2009, is stuck in Sudan with no wallet and needs me to wire her $2,000? Believe in the Easter Bunny? In Evolution?  Don’t leave me hangin’ Oh Wise Words, please be a little more specific!

‘Stop bossin’ me around!’

Then, there are the signs I actually want to argue with: ‘Happiness Is…A Long Hot Bath!’ Really? Coz I’m more of a shower person.’Stay Positive!’ Stay? You mean ‘Get?’ -and why? Maybe I thrive on sarcasm and cynicism. Maybe that’s the one thing I actually am positive about!

‘Keep Calm and Carry On….’ What are we, carrying bushels of sticks on our backs, like the cover-art on Led Zeppelin 4? We have Netflix and Smart Phones and food and shelter! Are we that put upon?

How about ‘Memories’ -exactly what are we talking here- the good ones or the bad ones, or the ones that strike the corners of my mind?  ‘The Best Things In Life Are Free’ Are they? Then why aren’t the homeless jumping for joy? And why didn’t Target just let you have that sign? By making you pay for it, they were basically admitting: This wooden sentence does not qualify as a ‘best’ thing….

‘Keep Calm and Carry on’

Which brings me to this point: If you actually  do, in fact, have a motto or a philosophy- should you let Michael’s or Target tell you what it is? Mottos are a pretty big deal, something I’d rather choose on my own. And not impose on others. And for that I have no words.

This goes out to ALL of the wall words, past, present and future!

  1. The only word/signs I like are the Demotivational Posters like the T.O. Egomania onr – but in the rec room only.

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  2. http://nymag.com/arts/art/rules/trends-2012-4/ More words Lisa. And to add insult to injury – they are in NEON!

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