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At The Movies, The Women Are Gone : Monkey See : NPR

In Should I Even Be Talking About This? on June 19, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Let me start by saying I am probably the least movie-going person you will ever meet. The last movie I saw ( at a theater) was ‘Sex In The City’ -the first one. More on that doozy later. I don’t even consider going to the movies ‘going out’. People just buy overpriced junk food, sit on their ass, and watch a screen- the same thing they do in their living room!  I’ve never even seen a 3-D movie, and I cannot emphasize enough how little that bothers me. The thought of actually having to go to a theater, and put on some skeevy glasses to watch a movie (sure, they seem clean- wrapped in plastic. But then why do they want them back? Is anyone overseeing the disinfecting process? Are there inspectors and spot checks for such a thing? When I get pink eye will Regal Cinema be there for me?)  The bottom line is, I’m more interested in finding depth in a script than on a screen anyway.

I’m not going to get too into the price of a 3-D movie ‘experience’ ( though I will say- I could buy almost 3 gallons of gas with that scratch! I am, however, a big fan of  the Viewmaster, which is like, ‘1960’s 3-D. I still have one ( my discs include Beautiful Cypress Gardens and The World’s Fair: Federal AND State Areaso, for all I really know,  seeing one 3-D movie might spur a movie going frenzy! 

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So I’m probably not qualified to speak about what movies are in the theaters, though I do notice an inordinate amount of  Super Hero movies, and I hate to say this- but it makes me think of 45 year old guys who live in their mom’s basement, venturing out once a year to attend Comicon. I’m sorry- it just does.  

In her article, Linda Holmes says that (in order to get different movies made) ‘it helps when people go out of their way to see any kind of movie that’s about people other than themselves’ which is alarming: Do men really see themselves as Action Heroes or worse, Super Heroes? (Phew!!)  Needless to say, I wouldn’t watch any of these movies- even for free, at home on my tv. (Curiously though- I will gladly watch the original, campy, 1960’s tv series ‘Batman’ or ‘Superman’ and get a kick out of it every time!)

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When it comes to women’s movies, I can say this: if you tell me the name of a movie is 27 Dresses  you won’t ever get me into a theater again! Because even though I’m a female, I also have a brain-(it happens!) and if I want to see dresses and shoes I can flip through a  magazine, or shop store websites. You can’t just take shiny things, wiggle them around and hook me like a fish. I was flabbergasted when I went to see ‘Sex In The City’ and witnessed not one- but two pivotal scenes that blew my mind: Miranda being sold a ‘happily ever after’ bill of goods on the Brooklyn Bridge of all places!-– and then Carrie reuniting with Big in a freakin’ closet -where she returned to retrieve a shoe like a modern day Cinderella. Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re going to sell to grown women?! 

..and yet, by the end of the movie- lo and behold....

..and yet, by the end of the movie- lo and behold….

The problem is: women themselves need to make up their minds.  Either we’re going to buy into this shit or not. If you want to see 27 Cinderellas then admit it, and roll with it. Don’t get all offended and huffy when people imply that you’re looking for true love or that you want a man in your life if these are the movies you pay to see (and you happen to be single). Don’t bitch when your spouse can’t possibly live up to the Prince who exists only  on paper (if you’re not single) If you believe it’s all about dresses and lipstick and that extraordinary, hot, chivalrous guys will search the town with a pillow and a shoe to find you (because I suppose we are all the Cinderellas of our own lives, or at least it’s safe to say that  no one will recognize themselves as a step-sister- though god knows we see it in each other) then these will be the movies we will get. 

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On the other hand, if you’re a thinker, or a realist, or even any women who doesn’t dot your i’s with a heart, maybe you’ll demand smarter movies. You do that by not purchasing tickets to drivel. There are decent movies out there- movies like ‘Juno’ and ‘Little Miss Sunshine’, ‘Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind’, ‘Mean Girls’,’ Garden State’ ‘Wendy and Lucy’ and even ‘Bridesmaids’.  These movies seem to address females without being condescending or ‘dumbing it down.’ They don’t ‘fix’ everything- they just put it out there. I like that. Taking it a step further, we’re all grown-ups, and I think it’s reasonable to say that we should be able to grasp the concept that even at it’s best- Hollywood is not real, and can not be expected to be ‘in the mix’ of our day to day dilemmas and esteem issues! It’s apples and oranges, and if it’s not- you need to pull yourself out of the abyss and stop feeding your mind with things that drag you down! Hollywood studios are not going to yank the plug for you- you’re their bread and butter! The same goes for television, magazines, the news- anything that makes you feel less than or depressed. Just stop injecting it!

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I don’t necessarily see a conspiracy in the movie industry, but rather that not enough gutsy, driven women are kicking doors down in Hollywood to make movies for smart women (and they’ll have to ‘kick down’ the doors, they won’t be invited in!) Although I’d prefer to see down to earth, real women in  movies, I’m not out there creating them and don’t know anyone who is. Complaining: yes. Doing: no.

So, until such time I prefer a pile of books where I can run the 3-D projector of my mind.

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  1. Many amen’s on this! And if we were to meet, you’d say “Oh! Now here’s someone who is as disinterested in bleeding money at a movie theater as I!” I can’t even remember the last thing I saw at a theater; that’s why I pay for cable and in desperation go to a Redbox.

    Thanks also for following my blog–I’ll be lurking on yours also 😉

    Like

    • Don’t even get me started on cable! Imagine, 800 channels- and (sometimes-usually just about the time I decide to watch) nothing’s on! How can that be? (to quote Elaine from Seinfeld: ‘Oh- it be!) Thanks for reading-(at least we always have reading?!!)

      Like

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