Bad Boys: *SIGH*

In Should I Even Be Talking About This?, Television on August 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm
'No thanks- i don't need a ride' said NO GIRL EVER!

‘No thanks- i don’t need a ride’ said NO GIRL EVER!

The subject of Bad Boys (and why some women like them) has been discussed ad nauseam, and yet I will throw my two cents in anyhow. I got to thinking about this after seeing a spot for ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ on FX ( a bad boy channel, if you will…along with SPIKE)  Jax Teller, the head of the SAMCRO affiliated biker gang, is my current ‘Bad Boy’ crush. This is a guy who’s killed over a case (at least) of people (and that was just last season)-and is a bonafide gangster, yet I swoon inside as I watch him. Even his walk is hot! But he’s a murderer! I know, it’s weird…..I usually frown on murdering. So what gives? 



Part of it began when the show first started, four seasons ago. Jax presented himself as ‘deep’…sitting atop a roof, reading his dead Dad’s letters, reflecting on his life. The way that he read those letters aloud- the fact that he could read- these were all pluses in a hot guy! He even kept a journal, which might mean he can even spell! Combine brains and brawn and I don’t know about you, but I’m over the moon! As the show progressed it became clear that he was truly in love with his girlfriend, Tara, and he has since married and stayed faithful to her (despite what I imagine are offers left and right to ‘get busy’-including an adult-entertainment side business and joint ownership of a brothel) A man who is true to his woman is a big turn-on to me. (A lot of us are self-serving like that.)



Amongst women, there is much discussion about men, and how they tend to be shallow- how the way a woman looks is so important to them, even though it’s what’s on the inside that counts. But ladies- please! Are we not the exact same way? When we are attracted to a guy, aren’t his looks a big part of it? The way his hair falls softly over his forehead, the Alaskan Husky blue eyes, that deep, scratchy voice even-maybe even- dat ass? Especially as young women, weren’t most of us attracted to the ‘babes?’ And so, as much as I like Jax’s monogamous ways, and soulful journaling- isn’t the fact that he’s scorching hot the reason I’m really attracted to him? After all, his buddies- who do exactly what Jax does- well, let’s just say they aren’t in my day dreams.

So what if I wrote this whole essay just so I could post these pics of Jax?

So what if I wrote this whole essay just so I could post these pics of Jax?

The first time I can remember being attracted to bad boys, was when I was a very young girl. My grandfather was watching the news and started railing at the television. I put down my Barbies and walked over to the tv to see what had made him so mad. There, on channel two, was Walter Cronkite reporting on Vietnam and the numerous protests going on around the country. One of the clips, from San Francisco- showed a bunch of teenagers and young adults in really cool clothes holding up signs. Then a sound bite from the cutest guy…with long hair, talking about ‘the war’. My heart did a few somersaults. My grandfather growled, the vein on his forehead throbbing: “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Men with long hair! Like a bunch of girls! This country is going to hell in a handbasket!” His face was red.  Meanwhile,  CBS cut to another clip,but  I was hoping they’d go back to that first guy. I waited through the commercials (‘Chock Full Of Nuts is a heavenly coffee…) and even stuck it out through the weather and sports, but alas, the heartthrob never returned.( And that’s the way it was…)

But I knew he was out there somewhere, growing his hair, wearing beads and waving a sign. And from then on, anytime I heard the words ‘Vietnam'”War’ or ‘Protest’ on my grandparent’s tv, I would strategically loiter behind my grandfather’s chair,maybe rolling a matchbox car across the headrest of his chair as a decoy and watch for the ‘no-good hippies!’ (By the way, I also thought the ‘hippies’ were the nice ones- because they wanted to stop the war, and from the footage I saw of actual Vietnam, war seemed like something we should all be against. But I digress)

Mick Jagger invented cool

Mick Jagger invented cool

From there, it was easy to see my route veering towards Bad-Boy Ville. I preferred Mick Jagger by far over Paul McCartney (McCartney was okay, but I could sense those Wings songs blending inside him, like vanilla milkshakes). Mick Jagger was the kind of guy who did things at night. Stayed up and smoked cigarettes and called up his girlfriends who were wearing fur coats and nothing else.  I was a born night owl, and could rarely sleep before eleven at night even as a child. And Bad Boys roam the night.

I  often stood up for the under-dog,and went against the grain. I wanted to paint my room black (or deep purple) with a big rainbow on the wall when I was nine. This was immediately vetoed. My father bellowed: ‘It’s a bedroom, not a god damn art project!” I ended up with red roses decoupaged on my all- white furniture, with matching shams and spread on my canopy bed. I’m surprised little dwarves didn’t gather around me while I slept, while cartoon blue-birds swirled around my head. But my room decor didn’t stop ‘Honky-Tonk Woman or “She’s A Rainbow” from blasting out of my Realistic stereo.  

My mother jokingly gave me an orange 8-track by Alice Cooper (“It’s a guy!” she marveled “What a goonie bird!”) Little did she know, ‘Killer’ was right up my (dark) alley- and I couldn’t get enough of it. In fact, the whole glam scene- with its long hair, platforms, turquoise bracelets, silky bell-bottoms and guy-liner spoke to me. Add guitars and turn it up, and I discovered the meaning of being in my element. 

I also liked guys who rode harleys  (especially choppers) guys who worked on cars, and wore leather jackets. At thirteen, my uniform became hip-huggers and halter tops, and platform shoes in suede. I loved headbands and anything with fringe. I was sending out Bad-Boy smoke-signals whether I knew it or not. You really don’t find a lot of guys macho enough to wear bracelets and earrings on the high school football team. At least not during the day and in public.

So while a lot of girls were trying out for cheerleading, I was wandering the halls between classes looking at the back of boy’s heads, searching out guys whose hair grew past their collars, making sure that my notebook was positioned with my New York Dolls and Deep Purple stickers facing out. I fell in love with bad-boys in movies,  in books…(.most notably Ritchie, in The Wanderers) and  though I was rooting for the ‘good’ guys, Randall Flagg in ‘The Stand’ was far more interesting than any of the good-boy heroes.

Snake Plisken is another fine example of the North American Bad-Boy

Snake Plissken is another fine example of the North American Bad-Boy

There is however, a big difference between a bad boy and a jerk. A bad boy might be a man of few words, but he doesn’t lie. A jerk lies even when he doesn’t have to. A bad-boy might not coddle you 24/7, but he’ll never lay a finger on you- or any other woman. A jerk is on familiar terms with his inner Chris Brown. A bad-boy has a work ethic- and knows how to fix stuff. He does things the right way, even when it’s tedious. A jerk works sporadically (if at all) and can’t be bothered with pride or standing behind what he does or says. Shortcuts are his thing. His whole life is a game of Chutes and Ladders, always searching out the easy way. A bad-boy is loyal, to his girl and his family and friends while a jerk hurts, uses and deserts his girl, family and friends. A bad-boy is someone you hold hands with in public (subtly) and a jerk is the guy you lie about even dating (out of embarrassment) But, most importantly, a Bad-Boy can grow up to be a good man, but a jerk will never grow up, period. And trust me, someday you’ll want him to.

Michael Beck played my favorite Bad-Boy in "The Warriors"

Michael Beck played my favorite Bad-Boy in “The Warriors”

Of course, when you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Over the years I’ve had my fill of bad boys and jerks and I’ve had some tumultuous, crazy relationships because of it. I’ve had my heart smashed to smithereens, and I once cried from sundown straight through to the next morning, positive I would die without him. (I’m talking non-stop full-throttle balling! Turns out you can’t run out of tears)  I’ve written bad poetry the likes of which make me blush just by remembering. Though I must admit: I do have lots of stories.  

But when you choose a hot guy with a bad-boy streak who’s mysterious and as cool as dry ice, you can’t expect to be the only one who’s noticed. And if you’re looking for real passion, you can’t go in half-assed. Sure, it might not work out- but then- what if it does?  And the few times I tried to go against my type, and date someone a little more, um- suburban? I felt lost and lonely. Like I was in another country and didn’t speak the language. The truth was- I just couldn’t date the Richie Cunningham type, as nice as he might be. Because I can’t spend my life hovering behind chairs, waiting for the news to come on. The best I could do was sort the bad-boys from the jerks, and hope to get lucky for the long haul.

Sonny Crockett was a Bad-Boy. Plus, he had a pet alligator!

Sonny Crockett was a Bad-Boy. Plus, he had a pet alligator!


  1. You are the girl! Snake Plisken was a major crush for me back in the day!! And it was, for sure, because he was too cute!


    • I know. He was the strong, silent type. mmmmhmmm! I always thought Maggie was nuts to sacrifice herself because Brain got killed, at the end. I mean- I’m all for true love, but Snake Plissken was standing there right behind her…single and all. Calling out to her, even. haha.


  2. Triple,quadruple LIKE. Sigh,listen to my heart…its slowly mending. But,can i still be a little bit of a bad girl.and still get a good guy?

    A Kick


    • Ummm….I defy any girl, anywhere, to not be (at least) a little bit bad with these guys. Are you sure you can keep it at a ‘little bit?’ Coz I’m not sure, speaking for myself. hahaha


  3. Thelma (Greena Davis) did not care that JT (Brad Pitt) stole their (Louise’s money) The bad boy effect. Haha. 😀


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