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Posts Tagged ‘Tim TeBow’

NFL RIDDLE: FINGER POINTING

In Game Day Sweet on December 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POINTING YOUR FINGER UP (AS SHOWN BELOW)……

OR POINTING YOUR FINGER DOWN (AS SHOWN BELOW?)

ANSWER: TEN GRAND!! THE AMOUNT STEVIE JOHNSON WAS FINED FOR GOOFING ON PLAXICO. DOESN’T SEEM RIGHT……

“Here ya go, Daddy. I mean- Mr. Goodell….”

Jets Crash, “Son” Rises

In Game Day Sweet, GAME DAY SWEET: 2012 Season on November 19, 2011 at 11:37 am

My Favorite Play? Why, The ‘Hail Mary!’ of course!

Well, that was a disaster for the New York Jets! They were beaten ‘Na,Na,Na, Na, Naa’ style, by  Tebow himself with a minute left to go. Could the Jets rally? What do you think?

I wasn’t  pissed that the Jets lost, as much as I was that the Broncos won.

It got me to thinking about what it is about Tim Tebow that is so polarizing? I had the definite feeling that I was watching a ‘show’  (maybe the 700 Club?) when Tebow started pointing up to the sky, praying, (re:’Tebowing’) and then skipped over to lead the prayer circle. He’s brought religion onto the field, and I guess he’ll keep bringing it. I don’t hate religion, or Jesus or God or whatever people choose to believe in, but personally I think we’re opening a can of worms in a neutral territory.

Does it ever occur to Timmy that if ‘Jesus’ or ‘God’ is on your side, that he has to be AGAINST the other guys? That God would have to actively DISLIKE all of the other teams and players, many who have had much harder struggles than you, to make it in the NFL….and isn’t it disturbing to think that Jesus plays favorites, even if you happen to be that favorite right now? Does it bother you that God is watching football rather than saving babies who have cancer, or stopping famine, or preventing the next Tsunami?

A rare glimpse of Tebow’s dog, Goliath,who “could walk to Hawaii, if he felt like it” according to Tim.

When Tebow left the field, and began his long, pious walk from the field, through the tunnel (for effect?) shedding his jersey, and leading a crowd of followers like an Under Armor Messiah back out onto the field (stopping to sign a shirt for a small child and his Dad, and conveniently ignoring the person next to them holding out a hat) I felt like I was watching a made-for-tv Lifetime Movie ‘God’s Quarterback: First and Ten Commandments’….and by the time he made it  to the sportscasters booth to be  praised, I half expected Mary Magdalene – or a Bronco’s cheerleader at least, to come over and wash his feet.

Tebow has lots of innovative ideas for Mile High Stadium. Here’s how he envisions the new uprights.

Tebow is is UBER-aware of what he is doing. He knows when the red light is on, and he plays to the camera. (though it might be entertaining, if he at least, pointed down when he threw an interception, or wiggled fake devil-horns with his fingers when he was sacked!)

I get the feeling there are a lot of people in Tebow’s life who are very vested in his ‘message’, and that they believe Tim is very ‘special’ and magnanimous, like a Christian Pied-Piper, or the first Pig-skin Preacher. And therein lies the rub.

See- I don’t want a sermon during my NFL games. I am often involved in very ‘heathen-like’ activities while switching off between actual games and the Red Zone, come Sunday afternoon. I may have a friendly bet going, I may be  tossing back a few alcoholic beverages, I’m definitely cursing my ass off (in a high sing-song voice for amazing plays and an angry croak for blown coverages) This is not the time for Reverend Snow to show up and find Jack, Janet and Chrissy ‘in the shower’. Game time runs rampant with possible ‘misunderstandings’, and I, for one, don’t want to be bummed out, or judged by Pastor Buzzkill. Or, God Forbid! be caught Roster-bating to my best friend ‘s Fantasy line-up!

So, forgive me, Tim- but I prefer the Neutral Zone, a place where we were all comfortable until you showed up. NFL means: ‘No Freakin’ Lectures’. I don’t want to have the feeling I get when there’s a cop behind me on the road. It’s not that I’m doing anything particularly wrong, but it’s been awhile since I looked at the rulebook. So please, Tim- lay off! In the name of the Gators, The Bronco’s and The Super Bowl. Amen.

‘Orange You Embarrassed, Miami?’

In Game Day Sweet, GAME DAY SWEET: 2012 Season on October 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

The Dolphins are a disgrace. So much so, that I cringe just writing  about them. Reggie Bush says they ‘stink’. Ordinarily I’d bash him for publicly outing his team, but after Sunday’s Tebow Take-over, I think Bush showed a lot of restraint by just saying that. It’s amazing that a big-market team like the Dolphins can fall into such disarray, but what’s more shocking is that it seems as if the organization – staff, players, and owners- could care less!!

Never before have I seen a team celebrate their opponents the way they did with Tim Tebow. They praised him, welcomed him like a long lost and adored relative, and topped it off by handing him a win in the last five minutes of the game. Tebow walked on water alright- and rode his Broncos right into the end zone. The Dolphins showed no fight, had no enthusiasm, no Pride!- and of course, no good plays. What is wrong with this picture? (Figuratively and literally!)

Put a helmet on that lamb and what do you have? The Miami Dolphins playing the Broncos, Sunday!

The Miami Dolphins Organization are the biggest joke in football- and I’ll tell you why: Because they care more about their ridiculous ‘Orange Carpet’ than they do their team! The ‘celebrity’ gimmick…..Gloria Estefan, Jennifer Lopez, Fergie, Marc Anthony, WHO CARES??!! I don’t understand how this has become the focus of a freakin’ FOOTBALL TEAM!! (and these people are so boring!) It makes me sick to have to sit through all of the crap on the screen at Sun-Life Stadium….JLo says: Go Dolphins!, Fergie says: Go Fins! Pitbull says: ‘something in spanish, Dolphins!’- What is this? E! Channel or Entertainment tonight?! I HATE it! None of this is about FOOTBALL, and quite frankly, it is making the Dolphins a laughing stock!

You know who I DO want to see walking the Orange Carpet? A good god-damned Coach, followed by a string of dedicated and skilled players- that’s who! Wait, wait wait! I don’t mean that. I want them to roll up that hideous orange carpet and concentrate on the game of football, period. Stop the lame-ass Hollywood crapola- it’s SOFT! Man Up and Play! Have some pride. Stop embarrassing the people of South Florida!

‘Throw these Divas on the field. They can’t be any worse than the Dolphins themselves- plus I’d love to see them get roughed up!!

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